Letter to Angel, 2016/Feb/28

February 29, 2016

Dearest Angel   –

We FINALLY were able to get Lola to the church to light a candle for your Lolo, who as you know died last year.

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Lolo’s Candle Burning Bright

I wonder if you and Lolo are ever to meet?  Or are you both “lost” to the ravages of time?  Of course, as long as we live you continue to live in our hearts, but once we too are gone ….?

As you know, I’ve been trying once again to start an online “business”.  I created an Amazon store webpage, http://tea-universe.com, and have been trying to promote it.  Please put in a good word for me, Angel, and help me make my store a success without being yet another internet spamming “nuisance”.

Life is full of all kinds of anxiety, Angel, yet we living creatures cling to it with all our strength.  Is there a better existence beyond the grave, or are life’s trial and tribulations the best that we ever get?

We love you Angel!

Letter to Angel, 24/Jan/2016

January 24, 2016

Dearest Angel –

I am so sorry I haven’t written you more.  Please don’t think we have forgotten you, as we will NEVER forget you, or that we will only write to you in times of anxiety or sorrow.  We want you to share the JOY in our lives as well!

Dodong continues to grow.  He is slowly learning to speak, but I’m sure he’s confused, because while Lola and Sweetie, with whom he spends most of his time, speak Bisaya, Kuya and the Old Grump most assuredly only speak English.  Most of his words are English, but he does speak some Bisaya phrases, such as “ali na”, which means “come here”.  (Or something like that.  Google translate gives the Cebuano of “come here” as “din hi”.)

Kuya is doing well in his new school.  As you know, we had to pull him out of his old school because he didn’t seem to be getting on well with his teacher.  He spends lots of time now playing on the iPad, and a little bit of time practicing his piano lessons.

Sweetie is her normal sweet self.  She and Lola take good care of the rest of us, and we deeply appreciate it.

Old Sweaty Grump has, miraculously, remained employed.  He hates his job, and grumbles about it practically nonstop, but he is financially supporting the rest of us, so we accommodate his grumblings as best we are able.

Lola is phenomenal.  She works all day, takes turns watching Dodong with Sweetie, and never complains about a thing.  (Grump appears to have used up all his complaining allotment, and most of hers!)  Many times we wonder just what we would do without Lola.

For a more recent description of our activities, you can check here:

A VERY COLD trip to Stone Mountain

Visiting Kuya’s school

A visit from your cousins

Visiting Grandma and Grandpa


Bless you, Angel, for all the health, strength, and happiness you send our way.  We hope that, through our hearts, you too experience the joy of living and being a part of this family.

We love you, Angel!

Letter to Angel, 27/August/2015

August 28, 2015

Dearest Angel   –

We turn to you once again, praying for your love and protection, this time for a very young child.  Mama Sue and Pastor Jude’s youngest daughter gave birth to a baby boy yesterday, (Isaiah is his name, I believe), and he was born a few weeks too early.  He is very small, only 5.75 pounds, and he is being monitored for some issues, such as low blood sugar.

We pray that you intervene on his behalf with the powers-that-be, and help this newborn recover quickly from such a rocky beginning to his life.  We will do our part too, helping the family however we can.  All our combined love will possibly sway the actions of a potentially indifferent universe.

I’m sorry if I sound a bit negative, but I get very upset with God, (or “the gods”, or the “Higher Powers”, or whatever term and image(s) you may use to refer to a greater purpose of life), when children suffer, particularly infants.  It makes me feel that God is either incompetent or a jerk.  And no, I don’t presume to judge God!  Of course I am just a finite mortal possessing an infinitesimally teeny bit of intelligence, (assuming, of course, that I have any intelligence at all!), and God is omnipotent and perfect.  But it is within my flawed mortal nature to recoil from pain being inflicted on any living form, especially an infant,* and so I can’t understand or accept how a perfect, omnipotent God would allow this to occur, and I probably never will.

There is a purpose to this existence, even if we humans have to create it**, and this purpose does NOT involve the suffering of the innocent.  That suffering is, to put it bluntly, a fuck-up.  As the universe and intelligence continues to grow and evolve, suffering will diminish.

Sorry if all this sounds nutty, Angel.  When dealing with concepts such as God, (and you!), it all gets so confusing!  God is the most real thing ever, but the hardest to …. well, define, measure, or prove.  But as surely as language exists, a Higher Power exists, even if this Higher Power, like a language, comes into being via human activity.**

I’ve strayed off the subject because I’m tired, and because the subject itself is such an emotional one that it short-circuits my poor brain.  Cover this young infant with the love we still feel for you, dear Angel, and let the healing power of love help him grow up healthy and strong.

And bless you for all the health and strength you infuse into our other two children.  (You, dear Angel, being our “third child”.)

We love you, Angel!


* – mosquitoes, ticks, venomous snakes and spiders, and other nasties being excluded from this, of course!

**  –  this is kinda hard to explain, and I certainly don’t want to say something as simple, (and wrong), as, “God is a human creation.”  I guess what I mean is that the concept of God may be something that we discover, or create even, but then that once the concept is there, God by necessity exists, (and then always has existed).  Sorta like gravity: gravity has always been around, but the concept of a gravitational force wasn’t developed until a few hundred years ago.




Ramblings #001

August 6, 2015

This is being typed on an iPhone. Ugh!

What has happened is that the powers-that-be where I work have got a bug or two up their collective asses and gone on a “punish any employee browsing the Internet” witch hunt. So yours truly is staying off the web for a while.

Good Lord – trying to type using this cellphone is a royal pain in the arse! Now that I have an extra exclamation point, how do I get rid of the damned thing?


Letter to Angel, 02/August/2015

August 3, 2015

Dearest Angel   –

Tonight Dodong fell and banged his head on the hard tile in the hallway, again.

What happened is that Grump was distracted while talking to his parents on the phone, and didn’t realize that Dodong was in the living room with him.  So when he opened the gate to walk into the hallway, he left the gate open.  Dodong followed him, tripped, and fell.

We don’t think Dodong was seriously hurt, just shaken up, but we are concerned for him.  He bangs his head so often that we are worried about the cumulative effects.

Sweetie has decided that, one way or another, the tile in the hallway has to go.  She wants to replace it with wood, and wants Grump to begin getting estimates for the work, but he is concerned about where the money for this latest project is going to come from.

Angel, will you please help us watch over your brother, and alert us somehow should he wander into the hallway again?

Thank you Angel!  And please be assured that you live forever in our hearts and minds.




Letter to Angel, 07/June/2015

June 7, 2015

Dearest Angel   –

As you know, Old Grump was extremely tired yesterday, and while driving back from Atlanta he “zoned out” for a fraction of a second, and drifted into the other land on I-75.

Fortunately we did not collide with another vehicle!  Grump was able to recover quickly, and after that scare drove us all safely home.  (I guess he got a jolt of adrenaline in his system, which kept him awake!)

I’d like to think that it was with your help, Angel, that we all stayed safe.  I hope and pray that you continue watching over us, particularly Kuya and Dodong, for as you know, boys seem drawn to trouble.  And I hope and pray that somehow you are able to experience the joys of living through our daily adventures.

As long as one of us still draws breath, Angel, you will not be forgotten.



Letter to Angel, 22/Apr/2015

April 23, 2015

Dearest Angel   –

It’s your day again, the anniversary of the day you ascended to heaven.

As is our custom, we got you a balloon.  (That’s Grump’s hand to the left, by the way.)

DSCN1082  DSCN1083

Here are Kuya, Lola, Sweetie, and Dodong, prior to Kuya letting your balloon fly free:


Kuya eventually let go, and your balloon soared away!


We love you Angel!




Letter to Angel, 09/Apr/2015

April 10, 2015

Dearest Angel   –

Am I a good person?

I usually think I am basically a good guy, but sometimes, (like today), I just don’t know.  At the moment I kinda feel like a jerk.  It’s not necessarily any one thing I did recently, but maybe the stress of lots of emergencies at work, combined with the incessant demands of a wife and two kids, is making me more selfish than usual.

Raising two young children is a lot of work.  On really bad days I tell my wife I’m going to run away, to “go to Mexico!”.  Of course she just laughs, and says she may go there first!

And my attempts to “make money online” don’t have me feeling too good about myself either.  Why does so much internet marketing seem to be borderline sleazy?  Why are so many online money making schemes just pure rip-offs?  Why are people such jerks?

Wanna know something weird?  When I feel like this, when I don’t feel good about myself, or others, and see the world as a place filled with nothing but the blatant pursuit of self-interest, then I am terrified about dying.  Yet on those days when I feel happy, content with my family and my life, while I certainly don’t want to die, it doesn’t bother me as much.

Isn’t that weird?  When I love life the most, that is when I am best able to cope with losing it.  How odd!

On some of my other blogs I have Adsense running, and affiliate links buried here and there in my posts.  I wonder: should I keep pimping for pennies, groveling for a fraction of a cent here and there in the hopes that someday I too become an internet phenomenon, and have wads of cash falling from the clouds of the internet into my bank account.  And what would I do with all this money?

If I were rich, would I be a better person?





Come and Go Love

March 7, 2015

I recently stumbled across this wonderful, bittersweet post which beautifully described the effects of loving another who has a fickle heart:  http://planetarybargains.com/Blog/the-fish-in-the-sea/funny .

Now before you read THIS POST any further, please go read it!  Once again, here is the link: http://planetarybargains.com/Blog/the-fish-in-the-sea/funny .






Did you read it yet?  No?  GRR!!!  Page up and click the link!






Okay, if you’re here, I’m gonna assume you’ve read the post.  (Or you’re a cheater, in which case, phooey on you!)

Have you ever read such a perfect description of a realtionship with a fickle hearted cat?  At first were you, like me, assuming in horror that “she” referred to a human?

What’s even more amazing is I found the link to this post on the Warrior Forum, of all places!

Letter to Angel, 17/Feb/2015

February 18, 2015

Dearest Angel  –

Yesterday, February 16th, 2015, your Lolo died.  He was a good man, and he will be missed.

Kuya got to meet him when he was an infant, but he doesn’t remember that.  Dodong has spent his entire short life on the opposite side of the planet from where Lolo lived.

No one ever got to meet you, Angel, as a living person, and in turn you never met any other member of the family.  You exist in timelessness now; I can’t even conceive of what an existence like that consists of.  The rest of us are living as mortal beings here on earth, where everything we do, everything we perceive and ponder about even, is trapped within an inexorable movement of time.  Without this temporal sequence, I can’t even think!  (Odd that “temporal”, in addition to relating to time, can also mean something like “nonspiritual”, huh?)

Lolo didn’t really speak English, but as a spiritual entity now he has no use of language anymore.  What is a “spiritual entity” anyway.  Do you and Lolo exist as discrete beings, or have you merged into a larger one?  Is “being” something that doesn’t apply to a realm of timelessness and lack of mass?

So I guess to ask if you two have met is a meaningless question?  Does it make sense, Angel, to address you specifically, or should my questions just go out to the universe as a whole?

This life on earth is filled with mystery and uncertainty, but one thing is certain: we miss you, Angel!